Stressed out at the dry cleaner's

So it's May. How did that happen? Seriously, I have been so busy I didn't even notice it creeping up or the fact that I have neglected my blog! I won't bore you with the million things I have going on, but be assured that they are all fun things - there are just a lot of them! None of them involve hiking unfortunately.

Anyway, time to blog about Japan....Can I complain please? Sorry to be such a whinging Brit, but blogging about annoyances ought to be therapeutic, let's give it a go....

I have a phobia about dry cleaners in Japan. There, I've said it. I feel better already!

My Japanese is terrible, but I can usually manage and make myself understood in most day to day situations. The dry cleaner's is an exception and I dread having to go to the damned place. I put it off as long as possible which only makes it worse when I eventually do get there with a bag full of whiffy clothes. What is it with the questions??

Q1: "Do you want a crease up the front or flat ironed?"
OK, reasonable question given our experience in Mexico (Mexico blog), but sometimes it's just bloody obvious
Q2: "Are these men's or women's"
Kind of insulting. Annoys me every time. I feel like they really saying "These massive, giant, enormous size 10 (gasp!) trousers have to be men's ones". Um, no - they are mine actually. This argument works well if David is with me as they can see that my trousers would never fit my 6ft 5 husband, but when I'm on my own, they just think I'm trying it on to save 20 yen).
Q3: "Do you want this dry cleaned?"
Do I have to explain why this annoys me?
Q3: "What fabric is it, I can't read the English label"
Oh god, this one really gets on my nerves. I regularly take linen trousers in and the label is in English and I tell them the Japanese. This is totally unnecessary because it is SO OBVIOUSLY linen. We go through this charade each time where I say "linen" and they repeat back (it takes 3 people) "rayon"? "polyester"? aaggghhhh!!!!
Q4: "Do you want the $%@**^$%*^*$%E% treatment?"
I have no idea. Please take pity. A foreigner struggling with basic Japanese is not going to know specific dry cleaning terms. Stop asking questions, just stop it and take my stuff.
Q5: "Do you want the %^&%^E^TE%^E@@$&** service?"
Will I ever be able to function properly in Japan?
Q6: "Do you have your member's card?"
Damn! I forgot it again. This means I have to answer more questions... what's my phone number again? No I don't have Chinese characters for my name. Can't I just write it down in English? katakana is too hard!

Finally, they take my stuff, my money while they continue to talk non-stop. I follow nothing. NOTHING! I walk away with a receipt (which I always seem to lose) a hand full of tiny 5 yen off discount vouchers (which I never seem to be able to refuse even though they are worth next to nothing and I will throw them away as soon as I get home) and a damaged sense of self-efficacy.

Today David had to drop some of his suits off and I was going to wait outside as 2 visits in one week is just too much. Then I thought, maybe I'll just go in and observe and get some more material for my blog, but I was very disappointed. No questions, no hassle, nothing! Why do they pick on me? I think in future I'll either send David or take my chances and stick the things in the washing machine.

Glad that's off my chest.